Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
