kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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