..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
