Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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