I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
