Betty ford says i'm here all night
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize