So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
