I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's shark week go big or go home
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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