so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
