So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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