you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I supernannyed him into submission
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
