dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
