so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
