Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
