I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
