He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
