you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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