he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
