walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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