Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Couch. On fire.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
