is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
