Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You ruined the universe
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
