i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
