Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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