I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
