he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
