wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
