anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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