there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
