you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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