I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
