whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
