I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
why didn't you poke me back
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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