Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
