in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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