matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
