i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
