need another drink. this is the easiest way
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
