I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
