Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
