also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
