It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
