i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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