Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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