you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
