A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i think i have two assholes
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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