If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
