I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
