New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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