jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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