I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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