I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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