So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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