Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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