I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
