goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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