Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
