I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
