And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize