At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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