Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He did a backflip because drugs
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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