I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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