the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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