Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
