Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
