Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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