My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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