If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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