3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
All I want is dick and wine.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
