I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
