Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
