Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
